Surprise!

Wow. What an incredible end to the season. It seems that so much has happened since my last posting last Tuesday. Some weeks in sport are quiet, most pass without huge incident. Some, like this week however, one leaves with the feeling that people have gone out of their way to create stories. In football, there have been fewer periods that have been more densely packed with big news than this week. The Premier League season culminated with a record 19th title for Manchester United, relegating a truly valiant Blackpool side in the process. Wigan and Wolves escaped from the 'terrifying' jaws of the Championship, which itself amazed with a quality performance by Reading during a 3-0 thrashing of Cardiff City on Tuesday evening.

Sir Alex Ferguson has had a mixed bag, after discovering not only that his future in fortune-telling may not be too successful but that  one of his players (I forget who?) had been less than discrete in his dealings with a tabloid beauty. Just when the week seemed to be rolling to an insignificant close, the mere matter of the Champion's League final to be decided, perhaps the two most baffling events occurred, firstly with Fergie deciding to play the role of 'Demon Headmaster', promising to "get" a journalist who posed an awkward question by banning him from the pre-final Press Conference on Friday, and finally in perhaps the most overdue sequence of events since Robbie Savage retired, everyone's favourite naughty uncle - Jack Warner - and FIFA Presidential candidate Mohammed Bin Hammam are to face an ethics enquiry after allegations of bribery at Football's governing body.

Sadly, at a time when so much has happened that showcases the incredible nature of football, emphasising why we love it so dearly (I defy a football fan to watch the celebrations at White Hart Lane, after Craig Gardner spanked in a 25-yarder that he thought would keep his club up, and not be moved), so much has also happened that has left a decidedly bitter taste. The saddest fact of all, however, is how thoroughly unsurprising I find any of the developments over the last 7 days. In fact, these occurrences sum up the unsavoury underbelly of modern football and leave me wondering where it all went wrong.

Firstly,  it seems appropriate to tackle the issue of manager Carlo Ancelotti's rather ridiculous sacking from his job at Chelsea, after a loss to Everton that saw his team stumble into second place behind a far more consistent United side. Reports claim that Ancelotti was sacked just one hour after the game finished, leading some to speculate that the sacking may have even taken place on the team coach. This frankly ludicrous scenario, which I would dismiss as tabloid drivel if it were any other club, would seem oddly plausible on the King's Road, where it appears any semblance of class, continuity or sanity was discarded upon the arrival of Roman Abramovich's millions. To sack a man who won the double in his first season in charge of the club, the first such achievement of Chelsea's history, as well as persevered with a dignity and class Abramovich could only dream of after the passing of his father in November, emphasises the moral redundancy at Stamford Bridge to the point where passing a note forward from the back of the coach to confirm the manager's departure doesn't seem completely implausible after all.

Chelsea were not at their best in this campaign. At times they stuttered and produced poor results and performances. The signing of Fernando Torres for £50million in January, a move which has subsequently seen the Spaniard play with all the confidence of a bookish virgin in a nightclub, probably didn't help Ancelotti's cause. It speaks volumes, however, that the Italian manage under Silvio Berlusconi, the kind of perilous position normally only reserved for 17-year-old prostitutes, at A.C Milan for nine years, while only surviving at Chelsea for 20 months. Abramovic's standards are seemingly unattainable, and until Chelsea can find a manager who delivers League and Champion's League victories every season, Blues fans may have to wait in frustration for the Russian to change his ways.

Upon hearing the news that Jack Warner and three of his FIFA colleagues were going to be investigated for bribery claims, I, like many, was shocked to the core. That such horrifying corruption could occur at a morally guided, wholly transparent organisation like FIFA leaves me questioning everything. What if Ryan Giggs really did do all of those bad things? What if Barcelona's players are actually, for all of their skill, a team of exaggerating, egotistical maniacs who wouldn't frown at a spot of racist abuse? At one dark moment, I even began questioning the legitimacy of Cristiano Ronaldo's tan. Of course, for the vast majority of right-thinking football fans, such accusations at FIFA are no surprise at all. Accusations have existed for long before the wonderfully titled 'ethics committee' decided to spit out their caviar and do something about it. The level of cynicism in the football community is heartwarming, but ultimately frustrating. Most fans recognise the incredibly fortunate timing - that a groundbreaking bribery case be brought against the sole competitor to Sepp Blatter in FIFA's Presidential election in the build-up to FIFA's Presidential election is nothing short of miraculous! Blatter's sudden adoption of more ethical, honest motives is heartening to see, however in spite of the humour we can all derive from the situation whilst at the pub, the whole thing leaves me incredibly frustrated. 

Why can't England split away from FIFA? Why, when clubs across the world are calling for goal-line technology and more accountability at governance level, must we persist with this self-serving, self-aggrandising organisation whose soul purpose seems to be its own publicity. What would happen if the English, Spanish, Italian, French and German Football Associations decided enough is enough, and split away? The game wouldn't crumble, no, in fact within time I am certain a fairer, more logical system would come in to existence, be it from a newly-founded organisation created by additional members of this new footballing frontier, or by a worried FIFA changing its ways to convince these great nations to renew their membership. Either way, something needs to be done before 'the beautiful game' becomes even uglier.

The tabloid furore that has been created by Manchester United this season again should come as no surprise to any football fans. Firstly, lest we forget, Wayne Rooney was outed at the very beginning of the season as a 'love-rat' for his penchant for prostitutes and the British media's love/hate relationship with the 'Super-Injunction' began. Then, with Rooney's baffling U-turn from want away, selfish child to terrace-hero-super-dad, endless tweets about the latest funny thing his vacuous wife Coleen or baby Kai have done creating more nausea than a picture of his celebratory shaven chest, we saw Ferguson's miraculous ability to sweep problems under the carpet. One filthy mess he hasn't had a big enough broom for, however, is the Ryan Giggs saga: tabloid gold created the moment one of Fergie's 'golden boys' recognised Imogen Thomas in a nightclub. What's next? Paul Scholes taking a hostage? Gary Neville setting fire to a post-box? The mind boggles. 

Giggs' irresponsible, selfish actions have completely destroyed a persona created by 20 years of consistently great performances and success, carefully nurtured no doubt by the media team at Manchester United. Ferguson's most recent bout of lunacy came on Tuesday, when he became infuriated with a question posed by AP journalist Rob Harris about the importance of Giggs to United's Champion's League final hopes, betrays the planned uniform reaction by Manchester United: nothing happened. Realistically in these situations, there is nothing that a club can do. If they come out to criticise the player, they annoy him. They come out to support him, they annoy literally everyone else, so what option is there but to say nothing? Alternatively, you could do what Fergie did and respond as if Harris has just pushed you over in the playground by not inviting him to your birthday party. The most embarrassing aspect of all isn't that the whole conversation was picked up by the mountain of microphones in front of the Scot, or that helpful subtitles have been positioned onto every subsequent video, but that Ferguson lacks the adequate authority to ban anyone from the press conference on Friday, and so Harris will most probably be sat smugly with his laptop and his hand raised, ready to ask his next pointed question.

Sadly, sometimes things in life disappoint you. This much is obvious. These disappointments are made more obvious when they come from a source which is normally so pleasurable and reliable. The crazy week we have just experienced presented football at its best and worst, every moment of skill and shock mirrored by another accusation or baffling row. Football rolls on to another week, while we, the fans, trail behind still getting our heads together. 

For more information about the inherent corruption of FIFA, i'd highly recommend 'FOUL - The Secret World Of FIFA' by Andrew Jennings.